What's your Partus Operandi?

Harry gets outed as a serial user of a certain little phrase...

Hey, quick plug at the top Harry has been making some moves!! He recently played a small role in helping Zack Fox execute a takeover of Donald Glover's Gilga Radio (s/o friend of the hang Ethan). Give the full stream a listen here and check out YOPPAMAN. Also he’s been producing and second mic-ing on the Cinephile Podcast with Adnan Virk. Check that stuff out! 

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HK: Randa –

A few months ago I was at a friend's party in PLG and I accidentally experienced a total Vibe undressing. I was talking to a group of 4 or 5 people, some of whom I knew well, and some who I didn’t really know. A run-of-the-mill Trans-Familitary-Riffing-Node any party attendee has experienced before.  We were talking about dating and I asked one of the women in the TFRN if they “had been ripping hinge lately.” This is where everything went sideways for me. 

Suddenly one of the women who had been straddling two conversations shot up and said “Wait a second….you’ve said that to me before….we’ve met and you’ve said that to me before.” This is a disaster for me. At that moment, I was outed as a serial user of the phrase “ripping hinge.” 

Sort of magically, I look at the woman who outed me and whatever clicked in her brain a second before also clicked in mine. We had met before, and we had been talking about dating…and of course, I had used the phrase “ripping hinge.”

In this moment I can really only describe myself as “Mr. Krabsing”. I’m 3.5 modelos deep experiencing ego death at the progressive seder BBQ. We did all laugh it off, but i’ve found myself returning to this memory a lot with some questions. Is it good to have a schtick? Am I just a little story dispenser, dispassionately using the same bits ad nauseam?  And probably most consistently what the fuck do people talk about at parties? 

What do you think Randa? 

RS: Standup comedians literally get paid to go do their same series of shticks to new audiences over and over. I don’t think there should be any shame in trying to entertain. Doing bits is a public service, and even better, you’re not just doing a bit you’re starting a conversation!

but i get it. sometimes i catch myself telling one of my five crazy little stories and it reminds me of how i prepared for my product manager job interviews. for “behavioral” interviews where they want you to show proof of how you’ve acted in certain situations, i made a little table with story examples for each of the qualities they wanted me to exhibit or situations i needed to prove i had experience with:

but if i’m at a party or on a date it’s more like…

i’m not consciously drawing from a table in my head, it’s more free association stream of consciousness, but i do find myself telling the same stories over and over. and i think that’s ok. like that’s the human experience…

telling ppl funny stories about your own life is just one party convo (i think it’s one of the better ones because it’s connective and relatable and stuff). but i guess you could also talk about like .. kierkegaard? or debate whether AI is gonna kill us? sometimes i like going Intellectual mode at parties but i mostly like soliciting and performing bits… 

HK: Ok yes, we do all probably have a big 5. Handcuffed at J*** J***s, the time my hinge date told me she banged pete davidson at the alexander wang spring Summer 2019 show and then fell off her stool (at my date not with pete davidson), the eyes wide shut praxis party we went to lol. etc.  

Is it possible that in a party setting, some stories are for the teller and some are for the tell-e? When I hit a big 5 story I’m not typically doing it because of some genuine self-expression, I’m trying to, not in a psycho way i hope, influence the vibe. I’m trying to get other stories flowing. Perhaps not necessarily me, but I do think some yappers get miscast as uninterested in other people, or bad listeners. I think some percentage of yappers at parties are doing it to try to coax some stories out of folks, whether they know it or not. 

RS: absolutely. truth be told, i am not that calculated, ripping personal stories to get ppl to believe things about me (i was not very good at those job interviews). i’m just trying to relate and make people laugh, often embarrassing myself in the process… 

HK: ok so final verdict is going around parties in Brooklyn asking women if they’re ‘ripping hinge’ good or bad? 

RS: good! 

HK: Ok so there are of course topics people return to at parties, for me i guess it's dating, for you i suspect it's dating and also waymos…but there's another axis i started to think about, ones Partus Operandi. This is not too dissimilar from how you can sort SSense sales by Price…or by percent of sale. Two ways of looking at the same Dries button-down. 

MOST people have a Partus Operandi of one of the following: Big Idea Discourse, Incoherent Riffing, Work, or Listening (two ears one mouth type beat). I’m usually 2 and 3. With the occasional foray into 1 and 4. (Obviously, this axis is thrown out when you’re flirting or trying to flirt…good pussy/dick have you laid up talking about etc. etc.)

But you know what's sort of tragic and beautiful about parties? If you attempt to actively control your Partus Operandi…everything falls apart. We’ve all been on the receiving end of this, when someone starts foisting kierkegaard or ‘what does it all mean’ or whatever on you at the club, It sucks. We’re not sparring here we're drinking beers near each other. On the other hand sometimes i'm trying to talk about literally anything and i'm in a conversation where everyones just like “what if everything in this brownstone was actually made of tofu”.

Perhaps I return to dating as a topic because it can be somewhat flexible along the sincerity continuum. It allows a certain Partus Operandi fluidness….anyway…where do you stand on PO Theory? 

RS: i think the best parties are probably where there is a high level of PO alignment. sometimes im staring off into space while people talk about kierkegaard, and sometimes *i* am the one bringing up kierkegaard while others stare off into space… that’s why writing a good invitation slash party description is great, it can bring your guests into the correct PO but that’s a topic for another time ;)