Harry: Randa, I woke up Sunday morning, the day after our insane banger instant classic trinity test for beers ass party and I did one thing. I got to debriefing. An amazing night out can be the gift that keeps on giving because you get to keep reliving it through bits, alternative angles, crushes, DMs, etc.. that's exactly what we did. It got me thinking though…what makes a debrief?
Randa: there’s a reason we say “last night was a movie” … a movie is made up of characters, narrative arcs, winners, and losers … parties contain these elements as well. when we debrief, we forever narrativize the party into a story that we will remember and retell. someone once said the unexamined life is not worth living. perhaps you could also say the undebriefed party is not worth having…
HK: So true. For me, all debriefs start with Crushes. Crushes, in both the diffuse and vague sense and the scalding hot literal sense, are what make parties go. Don’t believe me? Ask FOTS Sophie Haigney, who wrote this great piece on parties full of BARS like this
“the party—that very public event—is really meant to lead somewhere deeply private, into life right back to where it had started, a deep intimacy with a single person. And yet that intimacy would be impossible, unthinkable, without the performance, the mechanics, and the orchestration of the party that might lead them there (even though it probably won’t).”
RS: yes! we start with crushes, but then we just go free association mode. we go stream of consciousness. memorable moments return to us like dreams.
HK: In an attempt to parse this free association quasi-psychedelic practice, we came up with four components to a debrief. Crushes, Bits, The Uncanny, and It’s Over/ We’re Back. Crushes are the grounding force and the entry point, but after that its really anything goes. You can go Crush, Uncanny, Bits, It’s Over…but you can also go Crush, Bits, Crush, Uncanny, We’re back, Crush, It’s Over, Bits, Uncanny. You are, after all, viciously hungover
So without further adieu….
The Good Hang Turns 1 Party Breakdown
Crushes
Harry: Wouldn’t you sick freaks like to know….We’re debriefing in public which is not how these are supposed to go. I have ulterior motives for this public writing (double the bread, double the head, etc.). Is it possible that I’m trying to use these words i’m writing here as a sort of Havana syndrome crush ray for my would-be crush who could conceivably be reading this? Yes…it is possible!
Randa: i’m supposed to tell them my crushes? that’s on a need-to-know basis. i keep that info close to the chest after the Wines Elementary “Randa + Jake = <3” Bathroom Wall Incident of 2005.
Survey:
Spoke with a cute girl with glasses from Bushwick in the bathroom line. I mentioned how Hinge figured out my type is girls with cats but tragically, I can't date them because I'm allergic. She also had two cats.
i had 3 crushes. one i told i had a crush on him, he has a gf but we're gonna be friends. another was a guy with nail polish on who looked like jimmy from the most recent season of love is blind. another was a guy that i'm interested in getting a drink with to see if there's a vibe and we follow each other on insta
Patchwork black and white pants, maybe red headed, saw her on patio
Nick of the plant-frame-designing…not sure if he’s single but regardless I would buy a beta version of his product
She is lovely. With big, seeing eyes. There is a certain glint in her eyes. A knowing sparkle that allows you to be playful, but also says, "go ahead and mess around, but know that I see what you're doing."
man in a brown jacket with strong eyebrows who looked like a french model and gave off "I have a gf energy"
There was this extremely tall and psychotically good looking dude who I saw once and then when I tried to find him again he was gone!
blonde, 5’6”? - she led me through to the front of the bar and asked me if she had seen me on Raya lol. I’m not on Raya but she’s cute and if she’s queer, I’d be down to hang.
Met someone at the bar named Cristina, she seemed lovely but I had to return to my table
One guy was definitely very high and we shared the longest look that got uncomfortable, then funny, then uncomfortable again. I hope he had a good night
The Uncanny
Harry: Many were talking about ‘the bartender’. My experience with her was that she was totally insane.
Randa: I was standing at the bar when she leaned in and (instead of making our drinks) told us that she had just taken molly. I hope she gets a raise!
Survey:
I tried to set up a friend secretly and failed to even introduce him to the girl I was trying to set him up with
me and a penn guy talked ball for a few minutes
A TikTok star told me a secret abt a celebrity collab :0
If I had to characterize Harry and Randa as animals, I would say they're a fox and a bear. I won't tell you which one is which. The world is still large, and perhaps there's an undiscovered animal out there that's a combination of the two.
I'm pretty sure I saw Dave buy 7 tequila shots and take them all himself?
Ran across the street to get poppers so someone could try them for the first time
there were about 6.5 people from my K-12 education there.
I learned that Zedd is playing a state fair outside Boston
Notable Bits
Harry: It's time to come clean about a long-running bit I have where I introduce my roommate Dave as all sorts of unseemly things like a police officer or as racist or a detective or poly. On Saturday I told some folks at the party that he was racist which I believe they took at face value.
Randa: My ongoing party bit is walking away mid-conversation… you gotta keep people on their toes… make them work for it.
Survey:
This happened at the second location but I started throwing my phone really high in the air and letting it hit the ground to prove to people that my case was indestructible. People REALLY did not like this bit. Like begging me to stop. Total misread.
Roasted the guy who profiled me (the only dude) as an engineer (not quite) at a late-period outdoor table run by a powerful girl squad that Elise graciously fluffed me into. Never got his name but I'm gonna call him Double-Down Dan in future retellings
One guy, don't know his name, who did an extended bit about safely placing his beer(s) on the table. Had a hat on. Cool fella
on my walk home i called a friend and did a bit about Calipari leaving bc Fayetteville is a more walkable city than lexington, the laugh could’ve been bigger but it was 2:30 am so maybe he was tired. going to try it again today
When people asked me about being a fluffer, I'd ask them if they'd like to see my actual fluffing technique. Then, I would vigorously beat my fist against my palm to mime punching someones balls. Then I would say, "for some, pain is pleasure, and that's alright."
There was a fluffer who told me about how being a doctor is basically fluffing but for sick people.. is how I understood it
Randa’s Techno-Optimist Aside:
The Mid-Party Telegram Video Messages
If I am out, I am sending a circular video to my group chat on Telegram (Slavic Signal), the chat app for drugs, cryptocurrency, and Eastern European teenagers (I have friends in high places). This intimate mid-party update can play a crucial role in the party debrief by reminding you of stuff that happened.
The Post-Party Diagram
Sometimes words are not enough. You need to create a visual.
It’s Over / We’re Back
Harry: I think we’re back
Randa: we’re definitely back!
Harry: actually I think it’s over
Action Items
let the dms fly
drink some water
P.S. Huge thank you to our fluffers Dave, Seth, Sammy, Casey, Elise, Amos, Gabby, Rachel, Delia, Freeman (kinda), and anyone else who fluffed.
Harry fox randa bear