Wishlisting with Emmad Mazhari
+ ordering beer the right way
Welcome to another installation of nmjc’s hanging out series…as Sultans of Seshing, randa and harry talk to hanger-outters across the world about hot-button issues relating to chilling. If you’d like to be featured…hit us up!
HK: Randa hello. How are you? I understand we’ve got a guest today to help us further get to the bottom of what it means to hang out. I’m excited for that. BUT FIRST. I wanna talk about some stuff.
Friend of the newsletter (one day…)
recently found himself in some hot water (zoomers from the uk making videos with his tweet in the background) after tweeting this take.
I wanna first say that I agree with him. Obviously, the ideal way to order a beer at a bar is with cash. If you live in new york the beer should be 7$. You should get 3$ back and tip 2$. Then you crumple up the 1$ bill and forget about it until weeks later and use it to buy a small bottle of poland spirngs. That is the ideal interaction and every other interaction should be measured by how spiritually close it is to that. Paying with a card and closing out right is 3-4 rings outside of the inner sanctum.
I also agree with Willy’s larger take, which is implied, that it’s important to try to act cool while ordering a beer at a bar. When I was 21 and very new to ordering beers at bars, I was really nervous that I’d fuck it up. I’d rehearse the little head nod you’re supposed to give to the bartender (“yea close it…..uh yea……yea, just close out…..lemme just get 1 back, and yea keep it up….thanks dude”).
Thats how it should be!
Where do you fall here?
RS: I’m good. I’m good. I am having a busy week where I have to use so many different parts of my brain…writing a wedding toast, coming up with weird brand activations, driving a tesla…
Regarding the bar – Whoever gets to the bar first should open a tab with a credit card. Buying one beer with cash is sad and individualistic, and going to the bar is a team sport.
It kinda reminds me of that rule in Chinese culture where it’s rude to pour for yourself. Same concept. The smoothest interaction is to say, “I have a tab open” when your friend pulls up.
HK: i’ll just say it…im good at ordering beers…ok so who is our guest today?
RS:
is a talented designer and ideas guy otherwise known for (1) being a hater on Twitter and (2) a picture of his apartment getting circulated all over the internet. We met in San Francisco 6 years ago but he now lives in Houston with his cat, Zeera.
NMJC: Emmad, please share 3-6 photos that represent your weekend
EM: here you go
NMJC: We’re big ideas guys at NMJC. What ideas did you discuss while hanging out this weekend?
EM: I was coming off of some travel and wanted some alone time, hanging out with the soul if you will. I did what I call in my head a “wishlist weekend” - It’s where, as the name implies, I made a silly wishlist of things to do and just did them all weekend instead of doing real stuff.
I also went to a new nail salon this weekend to get my nails done (wishlist weekend item) and was the only person there - ended up talking to the owner / workers about office politics for a full hour…. Perhaps the highlight of the weekend. I have this thought that stuff like this happens to me (and in general) much more in the South than compared to other places I’ve lived. People generally feel so much more open about their lives and (for lack of a better word) nice in Houston to me than they did in, for e.g., San Francisco. I have some random thoughts about why this might be (general southern culture, more diverse groups of people, etc) but more than anything I sort of love it. I don’t think I’ve talked to this many strangers in my life before and I just find myself being more open too - going up to random neighbors, shop owners, people on the street, just to say hi. Huge vibe.
My last thought from this weekend - I spent a lot of time on eBay / fb marketplace / and online auctions bidding for things 🫣 I'm in a sort of tinkering phase of my life…. Obsessed with everything mechanical & physical that I feel like I can have better control over. I feel like the culture at large is shifting towards this too; more tactile, touchable objects. Anyways, my one tinkering project from the weekend: I got obsessed with the idea of having a typewriter and typing out my todos / journals instead of writing like a bozo. So I acquired a typewriter with a few stuck keys. Inshallah we will get them unstuck.
HK: Emmad, we haven’t met but I’m inspired by this checklist weekend. Can you talk more about this? How long have you been doing this? Is it always a solo mission? Do you do this when you’re feeling good? Feeling bad? Also what type of things make the checklist?
Hello Harry, im excited to spread the gospel of wishlist weekends to you. I came up with the name in my head a few months ago so it officially started then - but the idea & vision are simple. I make a notes app list on my phone of any ‘thing’ that I want to do that feels a little extra / out of my routine / more of a want than a need etc. And then one weekend after a particularly hectic or bad set of days I will abandon most of my real responsibilities and check off items from the checklist. This past weekend wishlist items included getting my nails done as I said, trying the largest possible size of the starbucks brown sugar shaken espresso (6/10), and getting a typewriter. I don’t know how y’all feel about ‘’’relaxing’’’ these days but I find it so difficult to turn my brain off lately - wishlist weekends usually end up being small / silly items but its a nice way for me to very actively decide to chill!!!! Wishlist weekend incomin for you next weekend perhaps?
HK: unrelated, but where do you fall on the bar thing?
I agree with Randa on this one deeply. Going out anywhere is a team sport and it is your responsibility to treat it as such. If you’re the first one at a location you absolutely ought to open a tab, if you’re out with friends for dinner you should be clamoring to pay for the meal. Going out is all about paying for your friends and the promise of them paying for you next time imo.
NMJC: We are professional hanger outers…do you have any hanging-out-related questions for us?
EM: i do in fact - i’m back in my hometown and hanging out with my parents a lot more. which is…. challenging at times. tips on hanging out with ur parents???
HK: wow…hanging out with parents. First thing ill say is you really want it to be an away game for you. Do Not Bring Your Dad To Bushwick. Do Not Bring Your Mom To “The Mission”. It sounds good in theory but almost never ends well.
Parents are cool. It can also be a good time to test drive how insane life decisions feel coming out of your mouth. It’s easy to be walking along the Brooklyn promenade and say something like “I think grad school could bang” and just take a few steps and see what your mom says.
RS: People often call my parents “the Jonah Hill of setting boundaries.” I don’t blame them anymore, but it means that hanging out with parents for me is about benevolent manipulation and conflict avoidance.
I’m generalizing here but for me it’s like talking to dads about woodworking and stuff like that, and talking to moms about cooking and clothes. Also asking them to tell stories about their lives and putting more of the attention on them. Everybody loves that.
There’s that sad and annoying tweet that circulates every so often that’s like “if you’re 30 you’re only going to hang w your parents like 20 more times before they die.” So just try to make it fun and nice and maybe a little meaningful.
NMJC: In a word or two…
Song of the weekend? SkeeYee by Sexyy Redd
Confession? I got the mcdonalds app on my phone
Most romantic moment? Next question
dream collab