The Low Lift Ask Guide to Multiracial Hangs

it’s easier than you might think

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NC: it’s giving nmjc…it’s giving new digs…it’s giving another subscriber list full of product managers, but maybe in a different way.

RM: it’s giving silicon valley. it’s giving miller. it’s giving nanjiani. it’s giving middleditch. it’s giving gavin belson. it’s giving tres commas.

NC: it’s giving what’s up. it’s giving why are we doing this? it’s giving…

RM: uh, uh, it’s, uh… it’s giving that we guessed randa and harry’s passwords. and that, in turn, is giving that we’ve hacked into their substack this week in order to take advantage of their massive subscriber list to promote our shit. 11 subscribers, wow! 

NC: i guessed harry’s password, and it was all too easy: “usepromocode15%offharryzrazors”

RM: and i guessed randa’s and it was “thisisnotathirdspaceitsahome”.

NC: that makes me think of how it’s pretty cool how once you’re in there substack it forces u to type in all lorewcase and make helLa typos

RM: that makes me think of how in This Discourse Moment, typos become a signifier of GVHAC (Good Vibed Hurried Assumed Charitability)

NC: that makes me think of how sometimes when you’re in a big group and in the flow of a big conversation—maybe some good riffs hitting back and forth—and someone pronounces a word wrong or names the wrong director of a movie or says the wrong year something came out, you offer them the grace of forgetting about it and moving on, even though we all noticed it and you’re a dumbass 😂😂😂Cool acronym could be something like: CFGQ (Conversation Flow Grace Quotient). GVHAC sounds cooler though.

RM: that makes me think of what it feels like to be in a group and the conversation is flowing, the riffs are hitting and landing with heavy thuds, punches even, riffs feeling like punches to your sternum and balls, and you say something you can’t take back, a classic TCOMF (Too Comfortable Over Sharing Feeling) like when i told my best friends Winnie Chen, Anchit Ramakrishnan, Poppy Corby-Teuch, Pierre Berthillon, Kwasi Onyeneme, and Mohammed Lee that Sister Jean is a “lowkey would” for me.

NC: that makes me think of this recent post by the goated cultural observer Josie Chang-Price on her Substack Causal Links about mfs who may be “Over The Hill” but still serve in an understated yet bangin fashion…

RM: that makes me think of the Lego Movie.

NC: that makes me think of Chris Pratt.

RM: that makes me think of Kim K’s comeback story.

NC: that makes me think of Harvard Business School.

RM: that makes me think of the global tech intelligentsia.

NC: that makes me think of SymSys. The Virgin SymSys Major vs. the CHad UIUC CompSci Guy

RM: that makes me think of–

NC: that makes me think of–

RM: that makes–

NC: me think—

RM: of—

NC: finishing each other’s…

RM: SandwicHES !!! XDDDDDD

NC: it’s giving having fun on this stack.

the authors of this substack, having fun with it

RM: that makes me think of you. what are you thinking about this week, nabeel?

NC: i’ve been turning this one over in my head the past couple weeks. a lot of instances recently where i’m in a group of people or a space where the vibes are just off :/ and i, of course, can put my finger on what the issue is but no one else can. it’s so obvious that it’s a problem. tell me what you think about this one, king. The Guide to Multiracial Hangs. Thoughts?

RM: i’ve been thinking a lot about what it takes to sesh well with folx of different racial persuasions lately. there are a lot of different races out there! any faves?

NC: ugh—it’s so hard to choose just one! they’re all so unique and compelling in their own ways. but twist my arm, i guess: White.

RM: here’s my general working theory. you step into a room, people of all different races in there. you gotta bring your a-game. your best self. the top of what you can deliver in terms of KVR (KindVibed Riffing) and FFC (Fashion Forward Complimenting). here’s where i like to start: indian men. you walk up to a group, there’s an indian guy in there, you say something like “where’s your family from?” and he says something like “Hyderabad” and you say the 3 things you know about that place. “Damn, you like that it’s transforming into a tech hub? you ever check out the salar jung museum? And whoa, we got a charminar head in the house!!”

NC: it’s worth thinking about this problem via a kind of optimization mindset, and from the GWP (General White Perspective). if you’re a white dude and you find yourself, somehow, in a hang sesh with a number of POC, you need to have some sense of an operating procedure. a Best Practices, if you will, that you can implement in each interaction so that, on average, you come out of there with your Ally Card still intact, but not so reverent as to fully debase yourself and lose your God-given higher foothold. Here’s the matrix of potential combinations I can think of:

• White-Asian: Easy enough interaction. Just be yourself, player! They love it.

• White-Latino: Easy enough interaction. Just be yourself, player! They love it.

• White-Black: Easy enough interaction. Just be yourself, player! They love it.

• White-Indian: Dominate. Subjugate. Do not capitulate.

• White-Middle Eastern: Easy enough interaction. Just be yourself, player! They love it.

• White-Slav: You got this, brother. Pretty much the same thing.

RM: in the end, the key to multiracial hanging, like anything else, is KYL (know your limits). i’ve put together a hand drawn diagram below for anyone to reference when hanging out with people of different races without knowing how to act.

NC: it’s interesting to think about the ways in which technology can connect us in ways we never imagined. did you hear about this new startup out of cambridge? it’s supposed to take the whole social experience of college and put it online.

RM: i’m not a libertarian curtis-yarvinpilled scott alexander obsessed slatestarcodexvibed idw-adjacent techno-optimist by any means, but i do think there’s something to this idea: the entire social experience of college, but online. I was hanging out with some friends the other night, and they mentioned that they were using The Facebook to talk to friends, chat about classes, and even “become a fan” of pages like “running up the stairs really fast at night because you think there’s a monster behind you.” it seems like technology really has created a bold new world out there, and if I have to leave the readers of this NLT (newsletter takeover) with one Big Idea, it would be this: Technology is Interesting

NC: well said…