LEAKED: GOOD HANG FLUFFER EMAIL
Good Hang fans deserve to know the truth
Andrew Huberman here. Harry and Randa have wronged me profoundly by being mean about me having 5 fake girlfriends and an optimized godless lifestyle. So to get them back I’ve decided to leak confidential documents from the Good Hang Brain Trust about tomorrow's party. Enjoy.
SUBJECT: [PLEASE READ] IMPORTANT INFO FOR GOOD HANG FLUFFERS
Dear Fluffers,
🚨 Remember we moved the party to Starlight Tavern from 8-11pm! Don’t be late! Also please tell your friends to contribute to the Fluffer Fund. We’re in the red over here!!🚨
Listen up you worthless fucks. If this doesn’t go according to plan our handlers said that they’re going to pull their offer to let us ‘nut in space’ once the ‘Benioff stuff in Hawaii’ is ready. If they pull that then I don’t know why I’m even doing this.
As you all know we’ve forcibly implanted “Riff Accelerant Explosive Devices” below your brain stem that track how often and profoundly you are riffing. If you go more than 3 minutes without a Grade A or Grade B riff…the chip explodes.
You’re gonna need to read up on the Good Hang canon like your life depends on it (because it does). To start: Gas and Link, GH guide to setting up your friends, and Hangout Geometry.
Below you’ll find a Face Sheet with all the important people to know at the party. Please study it ahead of time. Obviously remember the 3Fs: friendship, fucking, and financial upside. If they don’t seem like they can bring any of that to us then maybe just show them the door and point them towards Pony Boy.
Ruby [Redacted]
Dave’s girlfriend. Great vibes…loves TV…gonna be 20 mins late cuz she’s getting a tattoo in Queens.
Sark Cuckerberg
Anonymous
Media Party Takedown author. If you can, try to convince them that despite Harry being exactly 5’8 and dressed mostly in upscale workwear he isn’t like those other guys.Dave
Do not look at Dave. Do not talk to Dave. Do not even fucking think about Dave.
Your Friend From High School You Haven’t Seen Since 2013 (not pictured)
Say hi, why not right? I (harry) once tried to get this girl’s number who was one of Dave's friends’ friends from high school. Didn’t totally work but that's ok!
George
Don’t know him. Just saw him in the Partiful and have a good feeling about him.
Peter Thiel
DO NOT MENTION THE CONNECTION BETWEEN THE SUBSTACK BOOM AND ‘PEAK GAWKER’
Ryen Russilo
Harry added this one. We don’t really know why. Whenever we ask him about it he just keeps saying “life advice” and “Sundays with russillo” over and over again.
Someone You Matched with on Hinge and Chatted with Before Getting Ghosted
Probably just leave them be. Maybe if the vibe seems right go say hi….? hard to say.
Andrew Huberman
Under no circumstances can this guy come in the party.
The Entire Post Woke Literary Milieu (not pictured)
oh shit oh fuck
Dylan
Cool dude. Met him through Brando but also is dating our friend Sophie. Bit of a small world thing. Don’t get him started about 18 oz+ sweatshirts
A girl in the grade above you (not pictured)
Fellas… there’s just nothing scarier than the girls in the grade above you.
Ludwig Yeetgenstein
[redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] Artificial intelligence [redacted] [redacted]. [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] Chess.com [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]
YOURS TRULY,
Harry + Randa
P.S. DO NOT BE FUCKING LATE OR GO TO THE WRONG BAR AT THE WRONG TIME. STARLIGHT TAVERN 8-11PM. GET YOUR FRIENDS TO RSVP AND CONTRIBUTE $10 TO THE FLUFFER FUND.