Being Shy And Goofy with LB Hernandez
the second installment of our Hanging Out series
hello barbies and kens,
ICYMI, we are doing a lil series about Hanging Out. this week we have randa’s old roommate-turned-friend, LB. as a certified wordcel, she fits right in. some of the topics on tap include redirecting the convo away from the macroeconomic climate, how to have a satisfying weekend in nyc, and what we can learn about hanging out from a well-rounded basketball player.
-randa and harry
p.s. interested in being featured? email us!
NMJC: LB, welcome
LB: You come to me on the weekend of Barbenheimer and you ask me to share the details of my tomfoolery and hijinks?
In one to two sentences per day, give us some highlights of the weekend. Include a photo for each day.
Friday I kicked off Barbenheimer weekend with a screening of Oppenheimer followed by trips to L'industrie Pizzeria, For All Things Good Brooklyn, the Krazam After Party and topped off the night with a dance party for two at my apartment (not an innuendo).
Saturday I slept in on Saturday and hosted friends on my rooftop to pre-game Barbie. My boyfriend and I glammed ourselves up as Latina Barbie and Latin Grammy-eligible Ken and we served up some watermelon, mint, and rum cocktails.
Sunday I took a trip to MoMa to see the Georgia O’Keefe exhibit and had dinner at Mezzaluna. I’m convinced they make the best milanese I’ve ever had in the US.
One of the beauties of hanging out is the weird ideas that emerge…what were you talking about this weekend?
There was lots of Oppenheimer and Barbie talk this weekend, and film-industry chit chat in general. We're So Back: Movie Theater edition. We really admire Greta Gerwig.
Cultural resets, idk about you but the times just feel different.
I also found myself amongst a circle that kept bringing up the current macroeconomic climate so I found a way to regulate. For every boring and unsexy topic that finds its way into the social stratosphere, we must counter it with something cool like how hot Harrison Ford and Mad Mikkelsen are in the new Indiana Jones.
Who was the MVS of the weekend? (Most Valuable Stranger)
This one gentleman from across the room sent my boyfriend and I a bottle of natural wine at the Mexican wine bar we visited. First time that’s ever happened to either of us. We hope it’s not the last.
RS: Respectfully, LB, you are a huge clown (NOT derogatory). What were your bits this weekend?
It’s a shame that I’ve never considered clown school because I totally agree with you. I do regret to inform you that my bits fell off this weekend. My friends often joke that I have the personality of a 35-year old white man with depression/anxiety trapped inside the body of a Latina woman, so I really just made sure I went into Barbenheimer weekend channeling peak male manipulator energy: doorbusting Oppenheimer, being the only person in the theater to LOL at that one Stephen Malkmus/Lou Reed joke in Barbie, and brainwashing a stranger at a party into liking Andy Shauf.
HK: As the bitsman that you are, I’m curious when you think the best time to Get Goofy with a new friend is. Are you titrating your bits to start? (which is what I do) or do you like to be full Goofball Mode from the Jump?
This is a great question, and one that often keeps me up at night. The relativity of time and it’s intersection with Getting Goofy - did Einstein take it this far? Maybe that’s the story we need from Hollywood. Until then, I’ll give my narrative… I’m naturally a really shy person but I also love being a goon and making people laugh. I, like you, will slowly introduce bits and jokes and read their reactions - are they into it? Do they hate me? Should I walk away? Are they a fellow zog? And the rest goes from there. This only applies to platonic meetings. If I meet you on a dating app, you will get me fully at face value. If anything, I try to Take It Too Far as a way to determine compatibility sooner rather than later.
Randa and Harry are some hanging experts…do you have any hanging out related questions for us?
LB: I’m brand spanking new to NYC, what tips can you give me on making sure I always have the best Hanging Out plans once the weekend rolls around?
HK: I’m glad you asked. When you think about the late 2010s Toronto Raptors, its hard not to think of DeMar DeRozan. DeMar DeRozan is an incredible talent, early in his career he drew comparisons to Kobe Bryant because of his incredible footwork and mid-post scoring ability.
HOWEVER — it’s also hard to not think of the late 2010s toronto raptors without also thinking about their failures in the playoffs, when it really mattered. Many critics of Derozan point to his inability to consistently hit 3-point shots.
Derozan was a prolific Two Level Scorer. He could score close to the basket, and a medium distance from the basket. but he could never really become a Three Level Scorer, where he could also score from far away from the basket.
In my experience, to truly tap into everything new york has to offer, you need to be a 3 level scorer. That is to say, you need to cultivate local neighborhood seshs, medium push seshs, and Destination Seshs.
The medium Sesh is the easiest and most intuitive to cultivate. You just go to Williamsburg or whatever.
The Destination Sesh is EASY to imagine but HARD to execute. Because you can’t send a desty seshy for Saturday if you start planning it on Friday (unless you’re built different like me sometimes). You gotta lock those plans in on Tuesday.
Then the trickiest to cultivate is the local sesh. The local sesh takes a long time to cultivate. Because you can’t really rely on your roommates to do the push with you. Only once in a blue moon does it feel right to leave your couch to just drink a beer in a different building near your couch. The local sesh, though, has the highest upside. I think you’re most likely to fall in love at a local sesh. Your friends friend invites her coworker...you get to chatting about outer space…idk. That type of thing wouldn’t happen in “Williamsburg or “the Bronx botanical garden”.
RS: Harry whenever you start making sports references i’m like
personally i am big on the local sesh. i am always hanging out with people in my neighborhood. you could even say that our respective friendships, LB, and harry, were cultivated exclusively via the local sesh. (LB became my roommate when we met on craigslist, Harry and i met when we lived a 7 min walk from each other). you might remember these local moments:
i want to add a tangential sesh option to harry’s list which is the Spontaneous Sesh. something abt me is that i hate having plans because what if i want to surf or i don’t feel like doing the plans? if it were my choice none of my friends would ever be busy and we’d all wake up on saturday and be like “what should we do today?” you might be thinking, people can’t do that - they have obligations - but none of my late 20s to early 30s friends have any responsibilities yet that would keep them from this lifestyle. i implore u all to question why you must book your weekend full of plans when you could simply hang out!
i am trying to will this vibe into existence by sharing my location with everybody i hang out with (which is apparently what teens do too - nmjc is sort of teenage-coded). it has kind of worked so far. i recommend it.
IF u must, however, make plans - as a hanging out expert i obviously have some tricks up my sleeve. i stay relatively in-the-know abt events and pop-ups because i read a million newsletters and follow even more instagram accounts … gossamer and coolstuff.nyc are good ones. if u don’t have anything to do tonight there’s a tomato party.
In a word or two…
Song of the weekend? VAMPIROS by ROSALÍA and Rauw Alejandro (RIP RR, u would have loved reading this week’s edition of nmjc)
Craziest feeling? waking up to 42 unanswered calls from my mom
Confession? It’s important to me to be in the top 20% of hot and cool people in any social situation ever. I can deconstruct my reasoning at a later point.
Most romantic moment? Locking eyes with my bf at a party.