31W Tote Transcendentalist Seeks Man With Full Bag
this is the first edition of Operation H.O.A.M.K., a collaboration between Hot Singles and Good Hang, a newsletter about hanging out and chilling. subscribe here to get the rest.
RS: hello harry, hello hotties! i almost can’t believe it! we’re so back!
HK: no it’s crazy how back we are. The migration people have made from Hot Singles over to Good Hang has been inspiring. It’s a testament to both what you built in Hot Singles and how maniacally, painfully horny people are. Before we jump in to our first Hang Out And Maybe Kiss Hot Single I have a question about hot singles I’ve always wondered about. What makes a good email slide in response TO a hot single? Drop the Best Practices…
RS: i’m so glad you asked… these are my top 3:
1. say a little something about yourself
2. include a photo or another way to see what you look like
3. respond to a specific piece of the profile
you can see a real response that worked here.
HK: oh fuck no wonder responding “i found ur ex bf on Instagram and im certain im more athletic than him” never worked for me.
RS: let’s get onto today’s single!
HK: Don’t Panic, today’s hot single won’t try to Fix You (she may ask you to listen to some Coldplay though). She may also give you a stern talking to about Tote Decorum.
RS: what qualifies this Tote Transcendentalist to advise us on bags, you might be wondering? she’s the she-e-o of Shop Rat, a newsletter about style IRL.
HK: She had a wonderful, Good Hang-coded piece a couple months ago about a friendship birthed out of snagging a secret subway fit pic.
RS: want to bag this hot single? respond to this email or a send a message to sup@goodhang.org!
what is your go-to party trick?
I’m the person who plans the party. For my next big birthday, my dream is to take all my friends to see Coldplay. I’m already starting to budget for it. This year, I plan to go on a trolley tour of Greenwood Cemetery (you can rent one for yourself + 30 friends), and then go out for Chinese food and karaoke afterward. I don’t understand people who don’t like to celebrate their birthdays. We’re all going to die!
what’s your claim to fame?
I’m the person who took that video of Larry David suffering at New York Fashion Week. This is more of a deep cut, but I’m also the girl who dropped her AirPods down a subway grate — and got them back!
what have you been talking about lately?
I’m going to elaborate on this in a special Valentine’s Day newsletter, but I recently discovered that my biggest “ick” is when people (men) carry flimsy, wrinkled tote bags around with nothing but, like, a single pen in them. I’m calling it a “flaccid tote.” Throw a sweater in there, or something, please.
what is your favorite hangout spot in your city, and why?
My apartment. It took me a full year to decorate and it’s my sanctuary. Ideal for someone who is 5’4” and prioritizes form over function. If you don’t like it, or can’t fit on my couch, I don’t care.
what makes you a good hang?
I’ve always got a tragically funny story to tell about my dating life and hot takes for days; I ask good questions; I know exactly when to leave; I usually have a present to give you, even though it’s not a holiday or your birthday; and I read!!!
who are you looking for?
I feel like it’s easier to say what I’m *not* looking for: men who work in fashion, finance, bars and/or restaurants; surfers, skaters, academics, lawyers; men with kids; men without ambition; men who smoke; men who flake; men with “flaccid totes.” A carpenter would be nice. (*Not one with long hair.) I’m trying to re-do my kitchen cabinets.
🙋🏻 if you’re interested in the Tote Transcendentalist, respond to this email or send a message to sup@goodhang.org with a photo and a little bit about yourself :)
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